White Flag

I’m drowning here. Completely lost, out to sea. Pick any tired cliche for ‘overwhelmed and desperate,’ that’s my life right now.

The past several months have seen the foundations of my world grow very shaky indeed. Stress at work and at home have made tension headaches pretty much a daily occurrence. I either sleep too much or not enough, and I always feel exhausted when I get up in the morning. Sometimes I just want to crawl under the bed and stay there.

I’m mildly claustrophobic. Under the bed shouldn’t seem like a good place to be.

I’m going out of town tomorrow for a long weekend with a group of mad spinners and knitters. We’ll sit in a big circle and do our thing. We’ll eat and drink together, work with our hands and tell outrageous stories. Some of them may even be true.

When I come home, I’ve got to get to work finding a way out of this place I’m in. This isn’t the life I want.

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13 Responses to White Flag

  1. Rae says:

    I hope your weekend getaway helps you relax so you can start figuring out what makes you happy when you get back home.

  2. TheBon says:

    If you ever need an ear, let me know. I know something of the kinds of stress you speak of. And ultimately, I hope you have a great weekend, that you’re able to relax and that you can find your way out of the darkness.

  3. RoseRed says:

    I hope you have a great weekend and all that spinning, knitting and tall story telling helps clear your head and clarify your thoughts and actions for the time ahead.

  4. Bells says:

    oh dear you sound very overwhelmed. Yes get out of town and come back and tell us, when you can, that things are looking up. thinking of you!

  5. donna lee says:

    I am hoping that this will help you find some breathing space. (under the bed sounds like a circle of hell to claustrophobic me). Knitters/spinners are good people to help with the destressing and the listening.

    Have a peaceful and refreshing weekend.

  6. Karen says:

    Oh, I’m so sorry. I’ve been in your shoes–more times than I care to remember–and it’s so painful. But emotional pain, like physical pain, is there for a reason: it tells us when things need to change, and fast. And if you ever need to talk/rant/bounce ideas around, you can always call on me.

  7. KSD says:

    Though I hate that you are going through this, know that you are most DEFINITELY not alone. Since before Christmas, I’ve been drowning in self-pity, debt, unemployment, stress — you name it. Sometimes, it’s just easier to stay in the bed, huh?

  8. drkknits says:

    oh i hope you find a better space to be in soon. youre right, thats not a way to live. take care xx

  9. kt says:

    I hear ya. Have a great retreat; I hope things starting looking up really soon. <3 KT

  10. violinjodie says:

    Have a great retreat. I’ve been thinking about you guys a lot lately. For whatever it’s worth, I’ve been sending good thoughts your way.

  11. janel says:

    ooh, I didn’t realize you’re in this stress spot, I would have given you an extra hug at the retreat. I hope the retreat fun did its magic for you. Sometimes bad situations need to be changed immediately, and sometimes we need to figure out how to breathe and ride them out. I’m hoping that whichever is the right answer for you it’s not too painful. Rmember that friends are the escape valve!

  12. Kathy says:

    I am so very sorry I haven’t been here until now. I truly hope that you are feeling better. Many years ago, I did a 4 day retreat and it truly truly set me on a better path. Remember the energy and the positive thoughts of your retreat and it will help carry you a long way, even when your energy is ebbing. Sending positive energy your way.

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